So, I had decided when I installed this blog I was going to keep it updated. Pift, that did not work well. Not that I haven’t been busy. I have lost my Grandma, she passed away a few weeks ago. And, I have found while I was ready to let her go for her, I was not ready to let her go for me. I feel a bit lost. Not to knock everyone still in my life but the three main women in my life are gone. And, I look at things now and wonder just what will I do? Who will I really talk to about “those” kinds of things. Yes, I know there are amazing people like Lavona, Hilda, and Pam to talk with things about not to mention Cassie too. It’s just …. It’s not the same and for lack of a better word I suppose I am kind of whining but, I feel quite justified in doing so right now.

You see my Grandma  was always the epitome of woman hood for me. She was what I wanted to be. I never saw a fault in my Grandma. And, in 38 years I never remember her EVER yelling at me. I’m sure there were times she was quite frustrated with me. But, I do not recall that woman ever yelling at me for anything. I always found that wonderful. She made me feel like I could do one thing right, if nothing else. I could always be okay in her world. And, there is another person who I see like that and that is my big brother. No matter what he doesn’t ever get cross with me. He is always there for me and I am for him. I do not know how I could face what has happened or what is going to happen without him. We have a lot of dark days ahead of us he and I. But, I know because he is my big brother we will get though it.

There is Karen, JD, Aunt Shirley and Uncle Jim, we seem to be finding our way back to the close knit family we once were and i’m really loving that. I love going to their farm and just sitting in the kitchen drinking tea and talking. I love the talking and learning where I came from almost as much as the iced tea Aunt Shirley makes.

There are other people who have made my smile and those that have pushed me to excel I cannot forget them as well. There is my Aunt Judy who is really my cousin but, was always and aunt to me. There is Cindy and Lorie. I cannot seem to separate the two they are there for me lots and lots we seem to not talk very much but, we can always sit down catch up in 5 minutes and then talk for an hour about what ever drama is getting us down at this point in life. There is Sabrina and Shon, those two are my oldest friends (with Lorie too) we used to tear up our neighborhood. We were good girls but still, you know what I mean.

Just a few things bouncing around in the maze of my mind